Traditional Tuesdays

If you know me, you know I love Oprah.  She has inspired me in ways that I can not even begin to describe.  For me, she is a life teacher.  So, when OWN started talking about "Meatless Mondays", I was kinda bummed.  I wanted to be a part of a movement that was OWNed based, but I was already meatless.

But then, as time went on, I got to thinking.  People are challenging themselves with going meatless, that can be a big deal for some.  What about me, what would be my equivalent?  Hmmmm....

Going traditional.  That would be freakin' hard for me.  That would mean no cheese, no sugar, no bread, no butter. Did I mention cheese?  Oh, and coffee.  No coffee!  No way.  Can't do it.  Or could I?

Let's review.  Not coloring my hair anymore, done.  Going car free, done.  Giving up meat, done.  Ok, well if I can let go of those things, then I think I can go back to a traditional diet.  Yes, I can do this.  But I need help.  And I can't do it full time.  I think I can ease into this.  Like one day a week.  Hey, kinda like "Meatless Mondays"!

And so, "Traditional Tuesdays" was born.  A personal challenge that was grown out of a conversation with my friend Melvin while at CicLAvia in April 2013.

Next was the planning part.  What would I eat?  I called my friend Amy back on my rez (Tohono O'odham reservation), and she started to give me some ideas.  Ug.  Basically that means only veggies and fruit, if I wanna go hardcore.  Well, if our ancestors survived off of this food since time began, why can't I?

Then, on May 1st, I was running and praying.  I've been going through some stuff, so I was really doing some chanting in my mind.  Suddenly I thought, why not ask others to do Traditional Tuesdays with me?  I just heard on the Native Voice Network conference call that Native Americans are the 2nd largest group to use Facebook, thanks to my friend Chrissie for sharing.  So why not create a Facebook event?  So as soon as I got home, I jumped on my computer, still panting and sweating (ewww) and created the event.
Facebook event

As I blog, I still haven't eaten breakfast or showered (double ewww).  But in the first 20 minutes of the event being created, we got people from Cali, Texas, Oklahoma, Georgia, Arizona and New York, all wanting to get on board.

As a closing note, I'd like to invite all people, not just Native Americans, to participate.  Food can be sacred.   Learn what your ancestors used to eat, pass it on to your kids, spread the word and love your body.

Enjoy the Silence and the THX

Do you have rules when to watching a movie?  This has been quite the topic of conversation for me as of late.    

As my new friend said, while we were seated around the fire pit making s'mores, "It's about having respect for the art."

Yes, I totally agree! What else needs to be said? 

Well, it's not that easy, because sometimes I'll watch movies with people that may not be aware of my perspective, and then I quickly get jarred into another reality.  So now I'm interested to see if others have a similar perspective.  Or, am I, my brother and my new s'mores friend alone in our respect for the motion picture?  

Here are my rules:

No talking.  Please, just hold all questions, comments or whatever, until the end.  Unless it's discussed earlier, or I'm able to pause/rewind, please just enjoy the film.  I'll be busy, I'm watching a movie, I'm lost in another world (if the movie is doing a good job of entertaining me).  Attempts at conversation would be like trying to pull me out of a beautiful slumber, the kind where you're lost in an awesome dream.  So unless it's an emergency, just watch the movie.  Of course, I may break my own rule every now and then, but in general, I just want people to be quiet.  

No cell phones.  This pretty much mirrors my first rule.  Why do you need your cell phone right now?  If you are the President or something, then yes, please answer your phone.  Otherwise, if you are not able to disconnect for 90 minutes, maybe going to the movies is not the right type of activity for you.  Why do you think there is always an announcement before the movie to turn off or silence your cell phone?  Because people are trying to watch a movie.  They don't need to see your glowing light from your phone.  Call or text that person later.  They should understand, it's perfectly acceptable to NOT answer your phone during a movie.  

When watching at home with other people, please sit down and watch the movie.  For me, this is not the time to check Facebook, make a meal or do research on the computer.  And if you are doing another activity, please don't come back and expect me to tell you what you missed. 

HBO pretty much hits it on the head for me with a character called "Jennifer" in this commercial.  I'll never ask anyone to leave, but in my head I'll either just be like "ok, I'll have to watch this again Han Solo" and silently tell myself that everyone is different and that's ok.  

My viewpoint explained by HBO. 

In a group situation, if going in I know that I'm not really going to be able to watch the movie because it's a boisterous crowd, I'll concentrate on enjoying the environment, not so much the story.  I'll also know that I'll probably have to watch the movie again by myself.  

But if I think I'm going to be able to sit back and really soak it up, and then it's no so, it'll take a minute for me to adjust.  It's just how I am, I'm glad I'm aware of it.  

At my house, if we gotta go to the restroom while watching a movie, it's known to yell out "pause?" to the person leaving the room.  If the movie is one that I've already seen or pretty predictable, that'll be a "no" from me.  But we have a policy to respect the potty break.  See, there are always exceptions to the rule.  

If I'm in the theater, I'll do my best to not leave.  If I must go, I'll go as quickly as I can and NOT ask any questions until we are in the lobby after the movie.  If the person I'm with wants to give me a quick update on what I missed, I would probably shoot them a smile, say thanks and stare straight ahead to give the clue that I'm thinking "shut up, I'm trying to watch a movie".  

That's it.  Those are my rules. Pretty simple, I think.  Harsh?  Maybe.  But if you think so, we probably won't be watching movies together.  I am totally aware that people are different, people have their own methods and ways for movie watching, that's why I'm writing this.  I am interested to hear if other people have rules AND I wanted to clarify mine.  

Bottomline: I'm just asking people to watch the movie.  I understand that not everyone has that ability.  Maybe it's because we've become an ADD/ sound bite/ multi-tasking society.  I don't know.  But what I do know is that if you and I watch a movie together, I have some quiet expectations.  I respect that I maybe alone in my desire for silence, that's why I go to the movies by myself sometimes.  Of course, I love going with my friends.  But most of the people I see movies with already know that I'm particular when it comes to movie watching.  

And until I find that person one that also enjoys the silence, I'm happy to ask for a ticket for one.  

Does It Matter that Los Angeles is the Nation's Capital for City Indians?

I guess not. Not with the recent Paul Frank-gate incident.

The latest data from the 2010 Census says that Los Angeles County has the largest urban Indian population in the country.

Even with all of us here in L.A., we still got served up as characters to be imitated at the Paul Frank "Dream Catchin' Pow wow Celebrating Fashion's Night Out" on September 6th. The event was complete with stereotypical mock tomahawks, war paint and head dresses. And really crappy ones at that. The electric pink kind made in another country, ug.

Many at first, including myself, were in shock that in 2012 a company could think it's OK to dress up in mock versions of whatever they think is "Indian". Especially a company that is supposed to be "hip", and one that obviously didn't learn from the "Navajo" panty incident at Urban Outfitters.

Later we found out that the company apologized and wants to work with Native artists to create designs, and donate profits to Native causes. That's pretty cool. This could some one's  bigger break to see their work on a national platform.

Additionally, the Paul Frank president, along with 2 Native bloggers will address the International Licensing Merchandisers Association (LIMA) conference about the use of Native imagery in fashion.  I truly hope that helps detour other companies from using their version of "Native" imagery in their merchandise.

But really, this incident highlights one major issue for me: Native people are just not seen out there in the mainstream. In the one location that has the highest Native population IN THE COUNTRY, not one voice in the Paul Frank company spoke up warning against the possible implications of mocking Native Americans. In all the months and weeks it took to plan their event, no one ever thought, "Hey, do you think anyone will get upset that we're gonna have war paint, bows and arrows and tomahawks?" And then, to add to that, all the party goers jumped on the bandwagon and happily posed for pictures, keeping the ignorance going.

I'm inclined to say it's because they didn't know. Too many people don't know anything when it comes to Native Americans, other than tee pees, tomahawks and dream catchers. With over 565 tribes, it can be difficult for non-Natives to grasp that each tribe has it's own language, it's own creation stories and it's own system of government. At least once a week, I am dropping some sort of factual tidbit to my non-Native friends. I wear my Indian-ness on my sleeve and I'm always asked random questions about my culture, which I'm happy to explain. I WANT people to know, to understand, to learn- all so they can they can then have a greater respect for my community.

I don't have any hardcore answers or solutions. I do have some suggestions: can we finally teach how this country was really founded? Can each state spend time on not only the Nation's history with Native Americans, but learn about the tribes in their state and in their local community? Can we do away with making headbands and paper bag vests in November?

And the biggest one for me: can we encourage people to learn their own cultural heritage? By learning where your people are from, how they got here (USA), and family histories, people then tend to then have a greater respect for other cultures.

Why do you think we are so offended by the misuse of war paint and headdresses? Because we Native Americans, we treasure our heritage.  Those posing in the pictures, I wonder how much they really know about their's. It wasn't too long ago that we were thought of as a "problem" that needed to wiped out, and then later told to assimilate. Not many know WHY Los Angeles and other cities have Native American populations in the first place, it was called relocation, but I'm not sure if that's standard information in history books today...

I was taught that you learn who you are in the stories of your people. When you know what your family had to go through to get here, the customs and traditional ways of your people and why they were practiced, a sense of respect grows. And the more one respects their heritage and culture, it seems to naturally follow that one would then begin to respect other's heritage and culture.

Here's to hoping that's true.

~J

Financial Problems as Beautiful Gifts

I will always remember that night.  Slightly terrified, breathing deeply and then deciding to snap into focus.  I started chanting in my head, "I'm going to make it through this....I'm going to make it through this".

The "this" was a legal order to my bank account.  It was bad.  But it was also so good. 

People have asked me why I stick with financial education.  My answer, because I know, I've been there and I can help.  Especially at this time, I know I can make a contribution by sharing my my lessons.  I got myself into a deep hole and I am still learning how to dig my way out of it.  Everything that I've learned, I want to pass on to the world. 

That's been my standard answer for quite sometime now, whenever I was asked in a workshop.  But now I'm going to actually start doing something about it beyond my workshops.  I want to begin writing about it, trying to pin point major lessons to pass on to others that might read my blog.  I know when I was going through it, support was so important. And if the only place a person can get that from is the Internet, then I want to make sure there's a place for them on my blog. 

So here's one insight that I think is paramount if you've ever felt backed into a corner financially: begin to see it as a beautiful gift. 

I think I was lucky.  When my world came crashing down, I kept seeing myself in the middle of room with water crashing through the windows.  The water initially shocked me, as I was getting water in my face and I couldn't see.  But after a moment, I closed my eyes, stopped trying to fight the need to see and started swaying to some music.  I then saw myself rising up.  I went from a wet mess to this super star on a red carpet.  I held on to the vision.  As my heart was pounding, I would close my eyes and see myself rising up and walking the red carpet.  Now mind you, I had no way of knowing how I was going to be doing this, or what I was doing on a red carpet, but that's what I kept seeing.  And I liked that vision, so I went with it. 

Another thing that helped me stay focused on the gift, was a new perspective.  I've never heard it worded more beautifully that when I attended a Dao Dharma retreat.  There, I learned a new perspective for "problems".  I was introduced to the practice of saying "congratulations" when facing a problem.  The idea was that the Universe has now deemed you well enough equipped to handle whatever it is your facing.  What I was facing.  Had it been a week ago, a year ago or an hour ago, and this problem walked into my life, I would have not been prepared to handle the problem.  But now, all the stars, the lessons, the courage, the resources, all of it, lined up and it was my moment to walk across the hot coals to the other side. 

So if you find yourself walking over hot coals such as over due bills, taxes, liens, defaulting on loans, credit cards, whatever it is that your facing, I'm here to say you can get over it.  You can do it.  And you can do it in a joyful way.  It's freakin' hard.  It requires a lot of change.  A lot of letting go.  But it can be done. 

The first step: face it.  Just stop and face it.  Gather all your bills, all your statements, all of it.  Round up all the papers from all the various corners of your life.  Mine were in 3 main places: my room, my car and my work bag.  No wonder I was having a problem, my important documents were not organized.  But I gathered them all and threw them on my bed.  I said something like "Ok, let's do this" and started organizing them.  I knew how to do it, you know how to do it too.  It's easy.  Just come up with a system that works for you (maybe one day I'll add pictures, but that's not today).

After they were organized, I told the Universe that I was ready.  I kinda held my own ceremony.  I said, "If I'm ready for this, then please hep me.  Please help this process by beautiful and wonderful.  Please send me the immediate resources, the information, the opportunities, the whatever I need, to make this process a joyful one that helps me release whatever is holding me back.  And please help me learn, process and embody my lessons quickly and easily so I can get to living my best life.  I'm ready to claim my dream!"

Other things were said.  I encourage those facing financial difficulty and challenges to rely heavily on their connection to their spiritual life.  If one is not present, I suggest beginning to create one.  It doesn't matter if it's God, Jesus, Allah, The Universe, whatever you call your higher power, just connect!  Part of walking over the hot coals is developing the faith that you can do it because the Universe has got your back. 

Man, that's a hard lesson for me.  And every time I would think I had a solid trust foundation, something would come to challenge it.  But when I felt like I was backed into the corner, I chose to really develop my faith and it helped.  The more I would concentrate on my vision and tell myself that I could do it, the more I began to believe it.  Once I decided I was going to make it across the coals, I said I was committed to making my vision come true.  And so can you.

~J

Summary:

• Face it. Stop running
• Begin to look at it as a gift.  The longer you hold on to it being a horrible thing that is going to ruin your life, the longer you are choosing to be in pain.  Stop that!  Understand you wouldn't be facing the problem if you were not able to handle it, so know you're gonna handle it! It's going work out. 
• Develop a spiritual life and know that the Universe (God, Angels, Your Ancestors, Jesus, Spirit Guides, etc.) has your back.  They got your back, they are in your corner and they are rooting for you.
• Create a vision of what your life will be like once you learn whatever it is you need to learn during the process.  Once you have your vision, feel what it would really feel like once you reach that point in your life.  The more  you spend time in that feeling, the quicker you can make that a reality for yourself.  Visit that feeling once a day, or more, if possible. 
• Get ready.  Start to get ready, whatever that means for you.  It might mean changing your mindset or your habits.  But things gotta go and new things are going to be coming in, so get ready.  It's a good thing. 
• Create a home for all your financial records, get them organized and neat.  This can be your first action that demonstrates that you are ready to begin the journey.  Pick a time that works for you and stick to it.  If you have ever tried to do this before, and didn't follow through, make sure you do it this time.  Also, kinda ponder what's going on with you that you are delaying doing something that will ultimately help you.  That's what I had to do.  This may not be you case, but if it is, looking at that can help. 

Next blog: Facing the music, one collector at a time

What a Difference 6 Months Makes!

Six months ago I was eating meat, driving a BMW and dying my hair every 2 weeks.  I can not believe it's only been 6 months and things have really changed for me.

All of the 3 things I listed were big life changers for me.  I'll start with the meat.  Although it wasn't that hard to do, it wasn't really easy either.  I saw a show about the healthiest areas in the world, where people live well into their 100's, and it talked about the food the people in those areas eat.  Of course, it's a mostly veggie/ fruit, beans and nut diet.  So that info made me go hmmmmm.

Then, I caught the tail end of Fast Food Nation.  I read the book when it came out, and saw the movie.  But it didn't really make me consider the food I was putting into my body.  Somehow, this time it really made an impact.  Probably because I was open to it and because I already know so many people who don't eat meat.  Anyways, after I saw those final 10 min of the movie, I said that's it, I'm done.  I haven't had red meat or chicken since then (never really ate pork).

I still eat seafood.  I'm steering clear of any movies about that.  I love salmon and shrimp.  Please, don't tell me about the poison or mistreating of fish, I'm not ready for that yet.

So the hair.  I think that's the biggest change that I still have a challenge with.  Ug.  I hate that I still struggle even though it's been over 6 months. I don't know when I said that was it, but sometime last year I thought I would see how long I could go without dying my hair.  Then somewhere along the line I just decided that I'm going to learn to love myself just as I am.  If I got gray hair, then go with it.  It's difficult, I'm still processing it all, but I know very soon I'll be very content with the natural color of my hair.  I made a short video about it in February when I turned 41, check it out below.

Lastly, the car.  It's pretty simple.  I have many friends in the bike world who really advocate for public transportation. I always said that "one day" I would ride my bike and take the train, but one day never came.  I know myself well enough to know I need something to make me or force me to take action.  So when my lease was up, I said no more car.  It was hard at first, but now it's almost habit.  In fact, just this week a friend let me use his car while out of town and I've only driven it once since he left.  I had some errands to run today and actually rode my bike, even though I have a perfectly good car sitting in my driveway.

So there you go.  6 month and some serious stuff has been happening.  Can't wait to see what the next 6 months has in store.  I know it's going to be great!!!

Bring it :-)

i can't dig it

ug. i just came home from hanging with some younger peeps. they were all getting ready to hit hollywood. i was originally going to go, but now i'm kinda sick, so decided not to join in on the fun.
i'm home and i feel something going on that i'm not used to. i keep flashing back to this moment when we were all standing in front of the mirror, very bright lights, and i really got a good look at my gray hair.
can i really do this? granted, i was standing next to 25 year olds. but still, there is this place inside me that really wants to start coloring again.
i know that it's false. that coloring will temporarily make me feel younger, but i can't help it.
this is going to be one interesting journey.
i was going to write, "hardest things" i've ever done, but that's not true.
i have run 9 marathons, given up flour, sugar and dairy for 90 days, had no alcohol, sex or drugs for 5 years, lived with and cared for my aging grandmother before she died- so going gray can't be that hard.
if it's not that hard, then why do i feel this way?
drat!!!!

going there

about 3 weeks ago, i thought, "hmmmm, what if i stopped coloring my hair?"
the more i thought about it, the more i started to lean into the possibility of having gray hair.

i haven't blogged in a few months, so i thinking about covering this topic. just before i sat down to start typing, i googled "going gray", just for fun.

well what do you know, there is a whole freakin' site covering this subject.

http://goinggraylookinggreat.com/

so i signed up and became a member. looking through the photos, i saw this woman with the same color skin tone as mine. i think i caught a glimpse of the woman i will be in a few years. i like her. she's more confident than this jennifer.

one of my co-workers asked me why i was going gray. he seemed a little disappointed that i made this decision, but whatev. i told him "this is me. i gotta stop bobbing and weaving. no hiding, no masking, just me."

that was a very strong statement for someone who is totally scared about this journey. i want to do it, i really do. but i know i'm a sucker for my ego. can i do this? can i really REALLY do this?

a few women have already made some comments like "you'll be back", "see how long that lasts", etc.

i think now that i found this website, i found a virtual support system that will be there for me when i'm not strong. hopefully i won't have to have someone calling me and saying "put down the coloring and step away from the sink".

~J